Once upon a time there was a girl. Okay, so the girl was me, and it was Sunday night, but still. I was getting in some comfy clothes after getting home from church and while I was gathering my hair into a ponytail, I wandered aimlessly into the living room. I immediately regretted that.
Running across my living room, near the corner, was the BIGGEST mouse I’ve ever seen. At least, I’m still desperately praying that it was a large mouse and not a small rat. I never actually saw his head, so I’m unsure.
Upon spotting him, I immediately started screaming my head off and ran/danced into the dining room. I completely startled Matt, who was building a fire, and he asked me what is wrong. I attempted to explain as I screamed intermittently in my explanation.
While giving my screaming, yelling explanation, this “mouse” FOLLOWS me into the dining room. More screaming and dancing resumes as I prance my way into the kitchen. By this time, Matt actually spots the “mouse,” and jumps back slightly also. By this time, the “mouse” has disappeared into his hole and I am now STANDING on the kitchen chair. I didn’t realize I was the type to stand on chairs when I see mice. Scratch that. I’m not the type to stand on a chair when I see normal little “egg-sized” mice. But apparently, when I see a mouse the size of a very large potato, I resort to female hysterics including standing on chairs.
By the time the entire, but short, episode was said and done, Matt was laughing hysterically. He told me “stand here” and disappeared in the living room only to come out copying my actions a second later (though his screams weren’t quite as genuine and high-pitched as mine).
Matt did take all of our mouse traps and put them around the “mouse’s” ginormous hole in the wall! The hole that he had chewed part of our floor to make big enough for him! Oh. My. Goodness. Giant mouse alert. I hope to never see him again unless he’s dead! And I do kind of want to actually see him dead as I’m not sure anyone will believe me how big he was (though judging by that hole in the wall, Matt is convinced).
To make matters more… interesting, last night we finally moved the love seat from its place by the wood stove back to the living room where it belongs (which is how we found the hole in the first place). The “mouse” had chewed part of the sofa while chewing his hole bigger. I’m a little nervous as he was so ginormous that I’m not all together sure he’s small enough to get caught in any of the mouse traps we laid. I mean, what mouse needs a mouse-hole that big? Yikes.
I have named him “Fatso, the Monster Mouse.” I’m pretty sure that Fatso got so fat by eating all the corn out of my corn feed heating bag that I discovered in December:
This heating bag used to be full of feed corn. Judging by the large hole, I’m pretty sure this is the devious work of Fatso.
The joys of living in a very old farmhouse. I am kind of wishing my resident black snake (that I stay away from) was awake right now. Although, Fatso might be too fat for him to eat…. Hmmmm… This could be a problem. I’m strongly suspicious that Fatso might be a rat, not a monster mouse, but I really don’t want to allow my brain to go there. Psh, and my friend told me to stomp on him next time. Pretty sure any stomp from me wouldn’t do anything to this monster mouse.
Regardless of his normal mouse status (which is not the case), or his monster mouse status, there is not room for the both of us in my house. He is going to DIE! DIE, I tell you.